Play | The Rhapsody Editorial Music Blog: Chuck Eddy Category Feed

American Synth-Pop, from Lady Gaga on Back

2009-11-11T20:06:06Z

Ever since the early days of MTV, Flock of Seagulls haircuts, and Spandau Ballet new romanticism, it's been widely accepted that synthesizer pop is a mostly British (or at its weirdest, continental European) phenomenon: "Glitter-disco-synthesizer night school, all that noble savage drum drum drum," the band X ranted in their 1983 anti-Anglo tirade "I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts." Americans were just too gritty and guitar-loving for all that silliness, right? Well, not all of them. Lady Gaga is only the latest -- and potentially the biggest -- artist from U.S. shores to re-imagine Anglo/Euro technopop, fashion sense and all. Here's a rundown of electronically inclined Americans who preceded her.]]> your free trial Rhapsody membership. At Rhapsody, we not only have the latest and greatest premiers, we also all the an extensive selection of the catalog material you crave.

Sparks: Ron and Russell Mael only seemed British; really, they were two L.A. brothers who moved to England in the mid-'70s to make some of the archest glam-rock around. But by the time Giorgio Moroder synthesized them starting with 1979's heavenly No. 1 In Heaven, they were back on American shores.

Devo: These flowerpot-topped Ohioans' journey to the future ensured that their new wave jerked back and forth in a robotic fashion even when they were punks, so funking out with synth-beats on 1980's Freedom of Choice was a natural (and quite lucrative) devo-elopment.

Missing Persons and Berlin: Respectively fronted by Dale Bozzio and Terri Nunn, these kinky L.A. outfits both had a smattering of hits in the '80s, and both directly presaged Lady Gaga's look to a probably not-coincidental extent. How to tell them apart: Missing Persons had fishbowl bras; Berlin had a No. 1 single ("Take My Breath Away," 1986.)

Early Madonna: The only act here whose popularity Gaga hasn't eclipsed -- at least not yet. And though Madonna obviously did far more than just synth-pop, she also did "Into the Groove."

Early Ministry: By the late '80s, this Chicago gang got a whole lot louder and angrier, incorporating dub, then industrial and then metal, and paving the way for Nine Inch Nails. But inititally -- on 1983's With Sympathy, especially -- they seemed to be aiming to be the American Depeche Mode.

Information Society: Rarely mentioned now, these commendably rhythmic Minnesota techno-popsters actually had two Top 10 hits in 1988 -- "Walking Away," which went to No. 9, and "What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy)," which hit No. 3. (Trivia bonus: What Jewish Minneapolis proto-synth-popper had an even bigger hit in 1980? If you guessed Lipps, Inc.'s Steve Greenberg with "Funkytown," you win!)

Book of Love: These shy-sounding late '80s/early '90s kids opened for Depeche Mode; they were on Erasure's label; they covered songs by Mike Oldfield and Swiss post-punks Kleenex/Liliput; they hit the Top 100 once. But they were from Philadelphia! Then they moved to ... New York. (For more hit Philly synth-pop, see Pretty Poison, of 1987's "Catch Me (I'm Falling)" fame.)

Fischerspooner, Peaches, Adult: From New York, Toronto (OK, not the U.S., but close), and Detroit -- early '00s electroclash Americans wishing they were German (or wishing they were Lil' Kim, take your pick). The quasi-decadent fad was a fairly big commercial deal across the Atlantic and mere hipster cult fodder at home. But Gaga was probably taking notes.

3OH!3 and Breathe Carolina: And the synthbeat goes on, in the most emo-misogynist quarters of Colorado, of all places. It's not even worth complaining about. Might as well make like Helen Keller, and talk with your hips.

John Mayer and the Fraternity of Musically Talented Rock Heartthrobs

2009-11-05T16:46:27Z

In his eight years recording, John Mayer has walked a stylistic tightrope, splitting his time between presenting himself as a sensitive heartthrob (mainly on his solo studio albums) and a serious bluesman (on the live 2005 John Mayer Trio album Try!, for instance). By now, he seems to have found a comfortable middle ground between sex appeal and chops. But he's hardly the first musicianly beefcake to balance such seemingly competing sides. Here, some hunky virtuosos who've come before. ]]> your free trial Rhapsody membership. At Rhapsody, we not only have the latest and greatest premiers, we also all the an extensive selection of the catalog material you crave.

Johnny Burnette: This O.G. rockabilly went from inventing hard rock in his mid-'50s Rock and Roll Trio to Clearasil croons like 1960's Top 10 "You're Sixteen."

Ricky Nelson: With help from deadly guitarist James Burton, Ozzie and Harriet's kid made the toughest rock 'n' roll of any early '60s teen idol -- except when he didn't. Later, in "Garden Party," he sang about how fans' expectations can be demoralizing.

The Beatles: Cute enough for the girls, cool enough for the guys. "Beyond their music itself, their greatest strengths were clarity of image and the way they balanced," Nik Cohn wrote about the archetypal boy band in 1969. "No loose ends left over, and it all made for a comforting sense of completeness."

Michael Nesmith: Maybe not the most adorable Monkee -- Nik Cohn called him the "withdrawn, serious straight man," like George Harrison -- but the one who went on to help concoct country-rock. And he was handsome enough: all four were chosen to be photogenic, after all.

Peter Frampton: By the time his luxurious Farrah Fawcett locks on the front cover helped him break the bank with Frampton Comes Alive! in 1976, most teenyboppers buying didn't have any idea that he had churned out sizzling boogie riffs on five Humble Pie albums.

Rick Derringer: Now known mainly for one immortal '60s pop-rock hit (the McCoys' "Hang On Sloopy") and one equally immortal early '70s one ("Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo"), the longtime session dude also made a bunch of rip-roaring suburban metal records fronting a band sharing his surname in the late '70s. Then he went on to guitar for the WWF and Weird Al. But the close-up-kissable cover of 1975's Spring Fever, where he could almost pass for a young Valerie Bertinelli, is absolute Tiger Beat fodder.

John Taylor: Women who had crushes on him growing up in the '80s then went on to form their own indie bands and will tell you the Chic-and-Clash-inspired bassist was Duran Duran's most accomplished musician. Though maybe not the Power Station's.

Rick Springfield: The Australia-born erstwhile Dr. Noah Drake from General Hospital first hit the U.S. pop charts way back in 1972, and had long established his swoonability by the time "Jessie's Girl" topped the charts in '81. But though his manual dexterity was always an undercurrent, his unjustly slept-on '00s albums have demonstrated irrefutably what a meaty power-pop guitarist the guy is.

Prince: Pretty? Check. Pretty good musician? Okay, he fits.

Kurt Cobain: So does he -- in fact, some insist his guitaring outshined his singing or songwriting. Either way, he proved sometimes walking tightropes has risks.

Brad Paisley and Keith Urban: This pair of lady-killing cowpokes can both tear it up guitarwise, and they've both spent their careers trying to figure out how many hot solos per album they can get away with. Urban's latest album is all love songs, but Paisley actually managed a mostly instrumental set called Play last year. No shock that he's also done a CMT Crossroads episode with none other than ... John Mayer.

We Got 'Em First: Country Music Leaks

2009-10-17T05:54:49Z

What a week for country music lovers. Rhapsody is bringing you brand-new music from some of today's hottest, most talked-about country stars a week before you'll hear it anywhere else. No kidding: we've got big names, bluegrass names and names you'll soon be acquainted with. So sit back, relax and let's listen to some music!

]]> Tim McGraw: Southern Voice

Southern Voice marks Tim McGraw's 10th studio album. How does an artist keep things fresh after 10 albums? Well, despite the fact that "Southern Voice" was sort of a color-by-numbers kind of country single and "It's a Business Doing Pleasure With You" was a humorous, lightweight tune, most of the songs herein are surprisingly weighty and somewhat dark. By releasing an album filled with flawed characters, McGraw has given himself room to explore some fresh ideas and new perspectives. "Forever Seventeen" deals with the struggle of getting older and living with regrets. Backed by a sad-sounding guitar and a slow, end-of-the-day tempo, the song is one of the album's most poignant moments -- and is sung from a woman's point of view. But with lyrics such as "a little midnight chardonnay/ Smooth the edges off the day/ A little taste of maryjane makes you feel young again" you have to wonder if it will fly at conservative country stations. Their loss, because it really is one of the album's standouts. Another highlight is the song "Mr. Whoever You Are," which stars a lost, lonely soul looking for some comfort in a dance -- and maybe more -- with a stranger. The loneliness that unwinds in the waltz is heightened by a gorgeous string section, making this a likeable downer of a song. And you have to love a song titled "If I Died Today" that starts and ends with the strange line, "If I died today, who'd turn off my coffee pot?" There's plenty more where these damaged characters came from: cheaters/murderers ("Good Girls"), self-helpers ("Still") and sons growing up without fathers ("You Had to Be There") are all represented in this collection of striking and surprisingly likeable songs.

Lyle Lovett: Natural Forces
Doesn't it seem like an eternity ago that Lyle Lovett shocked the world by marrying Julia Roberts? Of his new release, Rhapsody's Nick Dedina writes: "Lyle Lovett is considered a country music outsider, yet he's always been grounded in the great American outdoors while excelling at lovelorn breakup songs and humorous rave-ups. This artful mix of originals, collaborations and covers paints portraits of individuals toughing it out in town, in the country and in the kitchen (food songs have always been a Lovett staple). How many artists can break your heart one minute ('Whooping Crane') and then crack up a squad of eighth graders the next ('Farmer Brown/Chicken Reel')? Lyle Lovett isn't an outsider -- he's at the top of his class."

Sam Bush: Circles Around Me
Bluegrass fans, listen up. After a three-year absence, Sam Bush is back and sounds better than ever! Rhapsody Bluegrass editor Justin Farrar has this to say about the King of Newgrass' seventh studio album: "'Hey, hey, hey, how in the hell did we get this far?' asks Bush on the anthemic title track. It's a question that sums up the reflective nature of Circles Around Me. Though the legendary mandolin player is just 57, he's made enough music to fill 10 lifetimes. This is Bush's first album in many a moon, and that has a lot to do with its back-to-basics approach. On tracks such as 'Diamond Joe' and 'Out on the Ocean,' he sounds like the young gun he was back in ye olde New Grass Revival days."

Bomshel: Fight Like a Girl
Bombshel made a name for themselves earlier this year when their single, "Fight Like a Girl," first made the radio rounds. At the time, however, the big story was that Kelley Shepard and Kristy Osmonson were, ahem, cheated out of their shot at releasing the song "Cheater Cheater" when Joey + Rory performed the song on CMT's Can You Duet? Shepard and Rory Freek were co-writers of the song, so each had a claim to it, but the power of that television performance cinched the deal for Joey + Rory. Rhapsody's Chuck Eddy has this to say about Bomshel's debut: "Retaining only one of two group members from its eccentric but never released 2006 album, Bomshel Stomp, this duo's belated commercial debut emphasizes emotion over comedy. Still, a hoedown-stomping No Doubt cover, a sleazy fiddle jam crossing '70s Cher with Charlie Daniels, some poppy spring-break nostalgia, and a half-potty-mouthed talking boogie ('Karma Is a Female Dog') are entertaining breaks from all the serious Lifetime Television survival lessons -- which have their moments too, especially when unison harmonies kick in through the set's second half."

Check out the playlist below for a quick sampling of our Sneak Peeks.

Where the Wild Things Are: A History of Kinky Sex in Pop and rock

2009-10-08T05:10:29Z

Britney Spears' latest contribution to pop music's math textbook, "3," is a celebration of bedroom-floor activities involving more than two people, and I don't mean vacuuming! Though that might happen too, actually. But Britney coos naughty stuff about "Not only you and me/ Got 180 degrees/ And I'm caught between" and "Peter Paul and Mary gettin' down." (Where's Puff the Magic Dragon when you need him?) But believe it or not, Ms. Spears is not the first pop star to deal with said multipartner practice, and others have documented entirely different lovemaking activities at least as nontraditional. Herewith, an inventory of sex-obsessed songs that opt for flavors other than vanilla.]]>

MENAGES A TROIS: Jefferson Airplane, "Triad" ("I don't really see why we can't go on as three"); Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, "The French Song" ("I have to laugh out loud when you say three's a crowd"); Prince, "When You Were Mine" ("He was there sleeping in between the two of us")

ANALYTICAL BIOCHEMISTY: Howlin' Wolf, "Back Door Man"; Grace Jones, "Pull Up to the Bumper"; Toni Basil, "Mickey" ("Any way you wanna do it, I'll take it like a man")

ELECTRONIC DEVICES: Stacey Q, "Hard Machine"; Motorhead, "Orgasmatron" (named for a contraption in Jane Fonda's Barbarella); Jefferson Airplane, "Plastic Fantastic Lover"

INFLATABLE FRIENDS: Roxy Music, "In Every Dream Home a Heartache" ("I blew up your body but you blew my mind"); Bram Tchaikovsky, "Girl of My Dreams" ("Judy was an American girl/ She came in the morning in the U.S. mail")

FOOT FETISHES: Blue Oyster Cult, "She's as Beautiful as a Foot"

FOOD FETISHES: Lady Sovereign, "Food Play"

FAMILY VALUES: The Doors,"The End"; Serge and Charlotte Gainsbourg, "Lemon Incest"; Prince, "Sister"; Fountains of Wayne, "Stacy's Mom"; several cheating songs sung by father/daughter country duo the Kendalls

NECROPHILIA: Alice Cooper; "Cold Ethyl"

YELLOW FEVER: Circle Jerks, Golden Shower of Hits; Flo Rida featuring Ne-Yo, "Be on You"; Funkadelic, "Alice in My Fantasies" ("Be my dog and I'll be your tree")

CATS O' NINE TAILS: Faster Pussycat, "Where There's a Whip There's a Way"; Devo, "Whip It"; Dazz Band, "Let It Whip"; Sparks, "Whippings and Apologies"; the Velvet Underground, "Venus in Furs"; Dominatrix, "Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight"

PADDLING THE CANOE: The Crystals, "He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss)"; Madonna, "Hanky Panky"; the Andrews Sisters, "Beat Me Daddy Eight to the Bar"; Jimmy "Bo" Horne, "Spank"; Ray Parker Jr., "Bad Boy" ("Spank me, whoop me ... break out the leather baby!")

RESTRAINING ORDERS: Blue Oyster Cult, "Dominance and Submission"; X-Ray Spex, "Oh Bondage Up Yours!"; Parliament, "Handcuffs"; Trent Willmon, "Surprise" ("I nearly lost my mind when I saw the leather and spikes around her neck and he was handcuffed to my bed")

UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS: Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, "Fetish"; Pete Townshend, "Rough Boys"; ZZ Top, "Rough Boy"; Accept, "London Leatherboys"; Skatt Bros., "Walk the Night"; John Mellencamp, "Hurts So Good"; Lady Gaga, "Poker Face"

PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF ERECTION: Accept, "Head Over Heels" ("Late at night in the park ... spurting in the dark")

The Rockers Of Oz

2009-09-25T20:44:52Z

It has been said that every movie worth watching since 1939 contains some reference to The Wizard of Oz. But what about music? This week, Wu-Tanger Ghostface Killah releases his new album, Ghostdini: The Wizard of Poetry, the cover artwork of which features a yellow brick road extended across hottie-bedecked poppy fields toward Emerald City. And on October 3, in honor of the movie's 70th anniversary, Netflix is streaming Oz free, in a new high-definition version. Last week, to commemorate the same landmark, Jennifer Hudson, Julianne Hough, and ?Uestlove of the Roots performed songs from the movie in New York. Rock and pop have been in love with the classic for years, but there's never been a better time to count down the highlights of Oz-rock history.]]>
Be sure to listen to all the artist mentioned here with your Rhapsody subscription and listen to all all of your favorite high quality audio with your free trial Rhapsody membership.

Elton John, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (1973): A chart-topper for eight weeks, Elton's biggest and best album came wrapped in a triple-gatefold cover just as unforgettable as its songs. On the front, his pink platform shoes took their first step onto the gold-paved street in question.

Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon (1973): Synchronize it with the movie, and trippy stuff happens! This has been scientifically proven.

America, "Tin Man" (1974): "No, Oz never did give nothin' to the Tin Man/ That he didn't, didn't already have." Hey Neil Young, try to top that slice of wisdom.

Kansas, "Dust in the Wind" (1976): If this is Kansas, the wind must be a twister.

Toto, Toto (1978): C'mon now -- "This is one little dog of a record" jokes really aren't nice.

Diana Ross/Michael Jackson, "Ease on Down the Road" (1978): From The Wiz. Who knew New York City had cyclones?

Lakeside, "Fantastic Voyage" (1981): "Bring Auntie Em and Toto too/ And all the party people to do their do."

John Cougar Mellencamp, Scarecrow (1985): John-Boy whiles away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers, consultin' with the rain.

Teena Marie, Emerald City (1986): The wildest album of Lady T's career, with liner notes that rewrite L. Frank Baum's plot somewhat: "Once upon a time there lived a little girl named Pity who decided more than anything in the world she wanted to be green. She embarked on a long journey searching for an emerald stone so precious and so magical that the thought of its mystic powers sent shivers of sheer delight up and down her spine ..."

E.U., "Da Butt" (1988): "Oh wee oh, ohhhhhh woe" -- scary flying monkey sounds, in go-go land!

Afghan Whigs, "If I Only Had a Heart" (1996): Greg Dulli excuses his sleaziness in life and love by pointing out the organ he all too sadly lacks.

Guster, "Come Downstairs and Say Hello" (2003): "Dorothy moves/ To click her ruby shoes/ Right in tune/ With Dark Side of the Moon."

Big & Rich, Horse of a Different Color (2004): Album title comes from the Wizard himself; the song "Real World" points out that "No one's got a name for the scarecrow."

Too Cool For Woodstock

2009-08-03T16:28:28Z

Woodstock obviously featured a handful of undeniably great bands, plus the occasional world-shaking performance by B-listers (Ten Years After's "I'm Going Home.") But those were exceptions. Maybe if the lineup had more fully captured the scope of rock and pop music in 1969, the result would have been more exciting, and less a tedious snoozefest. So here's a modest proposal for an alternate roster -- with every artist replaced by somebody comparable but cooler.

]]> FRIDAY, AUGUST 15, 1969

Desmond Dekker and the Aces replace Richie Havens: "Israelites" had just introduced ska to the U.S. Top 10; this'd get those hippies dancing for sure.

The Doors replace Sweetwater: A no-brainer swap of frequent tourmates.

Fairport Convention replace the Incredible String Band: Richard Thompson's guitar and more memorable songs make up for slightly less future freak-folk cred.

Glen Campbell and Bobbie Gentry replace Bert Sommer: Bert who? My point exactly. Glen and Bobbie had just had two hit duets, and they could throw in "Galveston" and "Ode to Billie Joe," too.

Marvin Gaye replaces Tim Hardin: You want singer-songwritin'? Here you go, through the grapevine.

Fela Anikulapo Kuti and Africa 70 replace Ravi Shankar: Kuti was in the States that year, discovering Black Power and recording in L.A. and giving his awesome Afrobeat band a new name.

Dionne Warwick replaces Melanie: So bring Mom!

Tom T. Hall replaces Arlo Guthrie: Hall's plainspoken storytelling was way more in the spirit of Guthrie's dad.

Loretta Lynn replaces Joan Baez: If you don't wanna go to Fist City, you better detour 'round Yasgur's Farm.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 16, 1969

Amon Duul II replace Quill: Quill supposedly had a cello and horns, but they didn't invent Krautrock.

Tommy Roe replaces John Sebastian: The Lovin' Spoonful were over, Welcome Back Kotter was seven years away, but "Dizzy" was now!

Bob Seger System replace Keef Hartley Band: Because Detroit should not keep secrets from the rest of the world.

Joe Cuba Sextette replace Santana: Latin boogaloo dudes in cool matching suits throw better parties than New Age guys.

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band replace Canned Heat: In case the drugs haven't kicked in yet.

Black Sabbath replace the Grateful Dead: Metal's OGs had just changed their name from Earth that month!

Led Zeppelin replace Mountain: Almost time to ring in the '70s.

Merle Haggard and the Strangers replace Creedence Clearwater Revival: Because hippies are open-minded people. And so was Haggard, even if beads and Roman sandals bugged him.

James Brown replaces Sly and the Family Stone: Even Sly knew who ruled the funk roost.

The Supremes replace Janis Joplin: Honestly, no contest.

The Stooges replace the Who: 1969 okay, all across the U.S.A. So why don't you all f-fade away?

SUNDAY, AUGUST 17 TO MONDAY, AUGUST 18, 1969

The Velvet Underground replace Jefferson Airplane: "White Light/White Heat" beats "White Rabbit."

Dr. John replaces Joe Cocker: The Night Tripper's trippiest album, Gris-Gris, had just come out the year before.

Archie Bell and the Drells replace Country Joe & the Fish: 'Cause they don't only sing, but they dance as good as they walk.

Fleetwood Mac replace Ten Years After: Peter Green version, that is, in the year of "Oh Well" and "Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight."

MC5 replace the Band: The '68 Democratic Convention? A dress rehearsal.

Miles Davis replaces Blood, Sweat and Tears: Jazz-rock for reals.

Johnnie Taylor replaces Johnny Winter: Not all blues is created equal.

The Jackson 5 replace Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young: Motown had just signed them in March; they'd be on TV by the end of August. They were ready to go.

The Archies replace the Paul Butterfield Blues Band. "Sugar, Sugar" had just charted July 26 and was climbing fast. So what if they were cartoon characters?

Elvis Presley replaces Sha Na Na: Feeling nostalgic for old-time rock 'n' roll? Why not the genuine article, who was riding his big comeback that summer?

Funkadelic replace Jimi Hendrix: They could do stuff he couldn't. And they probably put on an even better show.

Jet Boys And Jet Girls: A Playlist

2009-07-22T04:22:34Z

In 1978, a British New Waver calling himself Elton Motello had a supremely sleazy punk-disco dance club hit called "Jet Boy Jet Girl." Almost immediately, a Belgian New Wave singer calling himself Plastic Bertrand, using both the same studio musicians and same backing music as "Jet Boy Jet Girl," turned the song into a French song called "Ca Plane Pour Moi," one of punk's greatest and silliest novelty hits. Both songs have been covered countless times over the years, sometimes by far more famous bands. The playlist below provides an overview, and tosses in other rock classics about jets and by people named JET and Jett and Jetboy that somehow, in this context, totally fit.

25 Great Singles At 2009's Half-Year Point

2009-07-01T22:38:08Z

Believe it or not, the year hits the six-months-gone mark this week. And while there's no point in claiming these are the absolute best singles of the first half of 2009 (left "Boom Boom Pow" and "Poker Face" off, for instance, figuring you already know what they sound like), they're still 25 really good ones. Lots of rap, lots of country, lots of soul. Not a ton of "rock", though -- maybe because most of the non-rock rocks just fine.

Playlist: The Softest Rock Ever!

2009-06-23T17:20:05Z

When constructing this flawlessly gorgeous and heart-wrenching compendium of soft rock, I was once again reminded that much of history's mellow gold is in fact a secret depository of mental imbalance (see playlist selections by Helen Reddy and Gilbert O'Sullivan and Lobo for instance) and downright sleaziness (the ones by Mac Davis and Cher and Gordon Lightfoot, for starters.) Or at least that was the case in the singles-bar-and-suburban-wifeswap-and-pagan-teenage-drug-commune '70s; the '80s tunes below are perhaps more inscrutable -- if no more deniable.

Secret Rockabilly Of The '70s And '80s

2009-06-09T18:47:06Z

Something nostalgia for the '70s and '80s tends to forget is how nostalgic those decades were in turn for the '50s -- from Sha Na Na to American Graffiti to Happy Days, the era of greasers and poodle skirts was more inescapable throughout the era of quaaludes and smiley faces than youngsters today might guess. And one natural byproduct -- especially when Elvis died in 1977 -- was an often covert seeping of rockabilly sounds into hard rock, glam, new wave, country, even funk. The playlist below delves beyond the Cramps and Stray Cats to explore how, and where, the '70s and '80s lit late great balls of rockabilly fire.

Give In To "Boom Boom Pow" Before It's Too (Thousand And) Late!

2009-06-05T22:01:07Z

"Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas has now been the most popular song in the country for nine weeks and counting with no end in sight, making it the weirdest and most outlandish song to work up that kind of batting streak since ... what? "Hey Ya!" (nine weeks, 2003-2004)? "Macarena" (14 weeks, 1996)?? "Bette Davis Eyes" (nine weeks, 1981)??? Mighty impressive, either way, and what cannot be denied is that it is also the most shamelessly ridiculous and unabashedly catchy confection to hit the radio this year (only competition: "Poker Face"), and it's inescapable for primarily that reason.

So you know what? If you're not among the millions (if not billions) of human beings who've already surrendered to the song, you might as well. Otherwise, you'll certainly regret it 99 years from now (2108!), when you hear it on the intergalactic oldies station wired into the computer chip in your brain and it reminds you how life felt in the summer of 2009 the way no other song possibly could. And if that's not enough of a reason to embrace "Boom Boom Pow," here are 10 more.

]]> 1) People who think B.E.P. are "just trying to do what's popular" these days (as opposed to when they were, er, serious political artists or whatever) are nuts. If the group was merely trying to be popular, why would they come up with a song so over-the-top it's incomparable to anything else on the air? Doesn't make sense!

2) R&B and hip-hop artists are somehow under the insane delusion now that Auto-Tune is appropriate only for dreary "emotional" songs. Okay, maybe T-Pain's an exception when he rides on boats with the Lonely Island, but have you heard that Kanye album? Jeez. At least B.E.P. know how goofy funky robots are.

3) Speaking of robot funk, it's somewhat clear from the sound of "Boom Boom Pow" that B.E.P.'s "future" isn't so much 2108 as the freak-a-zoid early '80s glory days of "Planet Rock" and "Jam On It" and Zapp. Whose own electro-polyrhythmic future was, in turn, '70s Kraftwerk. Who just wanted to be the 1960s' Beach Boys but didn't know how, since they were German. Neat, huh? (Also worth a mention, since Will.i.am does: early '80s Detroit techno pioneers Cybotron.)

4) Chickens are jacking Fergie's style. Chickens! Real ones!! With beaks and feathers and everything! (Also, she used to be in Wild Orchid -- how cool is that?)

5) Nobody ever rhymed "8-bit" with "apes***" before, I don't think. Which pretty much cancels out the part where they quote Kanye quoting Daft Punk, right?

6) My wife opines that the Black Eyed Peas are now the B-52s of hip-hop, which is probably true when you think about it. She also says the beat of "Boom Boom Pow" reminds her of "Can't Do Nuttin For Ya Man" by Public Enemy.

7) Other people have compared the rhythm to the subcultural genres "hyphy" and "funky house." How about we just take their word on that one.

8) It was very courageous, I believe, to risk the shamrocks and shenanigans and drunken Irish-American hip-hop wrath of House of Pain by stepping on all those pesky leprechauns. Boom shalock lock boom indeed.

9) The phrase "boom boom pow" appropriately suggests something from a comic book. And honestly, has there ever been a bad "boom boom" song? Pat Travers' "Boom Boom (Out Go the Lights)"? Paul Lekakis' "Boom Boom (Let's Go Back to My Room)"? John Lee Hooker's "Boom Boom"? Trio's "Boom Boom"? Outhere Brothers' "Boom Boom Boom"? Vengaboys' "Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!"? The Jimmy Castor Bunch's "Bom Bom"? Living Things' "Bom Bom Bom"? Nope, those were all great, too!

10) This kid, who analyzed the song in even more detail than I have, is clearly wrong!

Country Music's Heaviest Songs Of The '00s

2009-06-01T21:11:27Z

We can argue 'til the heifers come home about whether this is a good or bad thing (correct answer: very very very good), but it can not be denied that the soon-to-over '00s have been the butt-rockingest decade in the entire history of country music since the beginning of time. In fact, it could easily be argued that country music rocked a whole lot harder in the '00s than rock did. Below are 25 magnificently loud and heavy reasons why. If you're a purist who gets nervous when country goes places it isn't supposed to, feel free to sit this one out. Otherwise, turn it up!

Loud Rock's Secret Latin Tinge

2009-05-27T18:40:05Z

With not nearly enough exceptions, loud guitar rock has been a notorious dancefloor wallflower for the past 30 years or so: Pretty much ever since disco scared its syncopations stiff. Kind of weird, for a genre originally steeped in the blues and r&b. But one of hard rock's secrets has long been Latin counterrhythms in its closet. The following playlist -- honoring conga-metal from both sides of several different borders -- is all the proof anyone should require.

Child-Rearing Tips from Marshall Mathers

2009-05-19T16:19:47Z

How appropriate is it that Eminem's new Relapse arrives midway between Mother's Day and Father's Day? Has the world of music ever seen a songwriter, in any genre, so obsessed with the day-to-day details of parenting -- both as a parent himself, and as somebody who was once parented? And Relapse -- featuring back-to-back numbers called "My Mom," about Marshall Mathers' mom, and "Insane," about Marshall Mathers' dad -- demonstrates that he's not yet ready to bury the theme in the back of his already-cluttered closet. In recognition of his preoccupation, then, here is a rundown of Eminem's more memorable koans on the topic -- many of which can serve as helpful advice for moms and dads everywhere!

]]> "99 percent of my life I was lied to/ I just found out my mom does more dope than I do." -- "My Name Is," The Slim Shady LP, 1999

"When I was just a little baby boy/ My mama used to tell me these crazy things/ She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man/ She used to tell me he hated me/ But then I got a little bit older/ And I realized she was the crazy one." -- "Kill You," The Marshall Mathers LP, 2000

"Don't blame me when little Eric jumps off of the terrace/ You should've been watching him/ Apparently you ain't parents." -- "Who Knew," The Marshall Mathers LP, 2000

"Yesterday I changed your diaper/ Wiped you and powdered you/ How did you get so big? Can't believe it, now you're two/ Hailie you're so precious, Daddy's so proud of you." -- "Kim," The Marshall Mathers LP, 2000

"When it's all said and done I'll be 40/ Before I know it with a 40 on the porch telling stories/ With a bottle of Jack, two grandkids on my lap/ Babysitting for Hailie while Hailie's out getting smashed." -- "Drug Ballad," The Marshall Mathers LP, 2000

"My baby girl keeps gettin' older/ I watch her grow up with pride/ People make jokes, 'cause they don't understand me/ They just don't see my real side." -- "Hailie's Song," The Eminem Show, 2002

"I'm a responsible father/ So not a lot of good I'd be to my daughter/ Layin' in the bottom of the mud/ Must be in my blood 'cause I don't know how I do it/ All I know is I don't want to follow in the footsteps of my dad/ 'Cause I hate him so bad." -- "Say Goodbye Hollywood," The Eminem Show, 2002

"I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither." -- "My Dad's Gone Crazy," The Eminem Show, 2002

"These ideas are nightmares to white parents/ Whose worse fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings/ Like whatever they say has no bearing/ It's so scary in a house that allows no swearing." -- "Sing for the Moment," The Eminem Show, 2002

"Put yourself in my position/ Just try to envision witnessin' your mama poppin' prescription pills in the kitchen." -- "Cleanin' Out My Closet," The Eminem Show, 2002

"When she colors her big brother and mother and dad/ Ain't no tellin' what really goes on in her little head/ Wish I could be the daddy that neither one of us had." -- "8 Mile," 8 Mile, 2002

"He's grown farther from home, he's no father/ He goes home and barely knows his daughter." -- "Lose Yourself," 8 Mile, 2002

"Father please forgive me for I know not what I do/ I just never had the chance to ever meet you/ Therefore I did not know that I would grow to be/ My mother's evil seed doing these evil deeds." -- "Evil Deeds," Encore, 2004

"Papa was a rollin' stone, mama developed a habit/ And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it." -- "Mockingbird," Encore, 2004

"If you don't understand, don't even bother to ask/ A father who has grown up with a fatherless past." -- "Mosh," Encore, 2004

"I was never the type of kid to wait by the door/ And pack his bags and stand on the porch/ And hope and pray for a dad to show who never did." -- "Beautiful," Relapse, 2009

"I want you to feel me like my stepfather felt me." -- "Insane," Relapse, 2009

"Cuticles get residue just from touching the bottle/ Never knew I could remind me so much of my mama." -- "Bagpipes from Baghdad," Relapse, 2009

"My mom my mom/ I know you're probably tired of hearing about my mom." -- "My Mom," Relapse, 2009

Hair-Metal Before Hair-Metal Was Cool

2009-05-18T23:17:08Z

Music historians have yet to pinpoint the precise moment when "hair metal" got its name (before that, it was "pop metal," "glam metal," "shag metal," "Nerf metal," whatever.) But the genre was pretty clearly in place as a cultural phenomenon by, say, the mid '80s. For several years before, though, metal and album-oriented rock seemed to be moving in markedly pretty and poofy directions; they weren't just for dudes anymore. The playlist below doesn't go past 1984, but it clearly portends pink guitars on the way -- not to mention fallen angels in the backstage area. (Pictured: Starz)