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What a week for country music lovers. Rhapsody is bringing you brand-new music from some of today's hottest, most talked-about country stars a week before you'll hear it anywhere else. No kidding: we've got big names, bluegrass names and names you'll soon be acquainted with. So sit back, relax and let's listen to some music!

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Britney Spears' latest contribution to pop music's math textbook, "3," is a celebration of bedroom-floor activities involving more than two people, and I don't mean vacuuming! Though that might happen too, actually. But Britney coos naughty stuff about "Not only you and me/ Got 180 degrees/ And I'm caught between" and "Peter Paul and Mary gettin' down." (Where's Puff the Magic Dragon when you need him?) But believe it or not, Ms. Spears is not the first pop star to deal with said multipartner practice, and others have documented entirely different lovemaking activities at least as nontraditional. Herewith, an inventory of sex-obsessed songs that opt for flavors other than vanilla.

The Rockers Of Oz

oz.jpg It has been said that every movie worth watching since 1939 contains some reference to The Wizard of Oz. But what about music? This week, Wu-Tanger Ghostface Killah releases his new album, Ghostdini: The Wizard of Poetry, the cover artwork of which features a yellow brick road extended across hottie-bedecked poppy fields toward Emerald City. And on October 3, in honor of the movie's 70th anniversary, Netflix is streaming Oz free, in a new high-definition version. Last week, to commemorate the same landmark, Jennifer Hudson, Julianne Hough, and ?Uestlove of the Roots performed songs from the movie in New York. Rock and pop have been in love with the classic for years, but there's never been a better time to count down the highlights of Oz-rock history.

Too Cool For Woodstock

retro_rewind_180x172.jpgWoodstock obviously featured a handful of undeniably great bands, plus the occasional world-shaking performance by B-listers (Ten Years After's "I'm Going Home.") But those were exceptions. Maybe if the lineup had more fully captured the scope of rock and pop music in 1969, the result would have been more exciting, and less a tedious snoozefest. So here's a modest proposal for an alternate roster -- with every artist replaced by somebody comparable but cooler.


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In 1978, a British New Waver calling himself Elton Motello had a supremely sleazy punk-disco dance club hit called "Jet Boy Jet Girl." Almost immediately, a Belgian New Wave singer calling himself Plastic Bertrand, using both the same studio musicians and same backing music as "Jet Boy Jet Girl," turned the song into a French song called "Ca Plane Pour Moi," one of punk's greatest and silliest novelty hits. Both songs have been covered countless times over the years, sometimes by far more famous bands. The playlist below provides an overview, and tosses in other rock classics about jets and by people named JET and Jett and Jetboy that somehow, in this context, totally fit.
 
Believe it or not, the year hits the six-months-gone mark this week. And while there's no point in claiming these are the absolute best singles of the first half of 2009 (left "Boom Boom Pow" and "Poker Face" off, for instance, figuring you already know what they sound like), they're still 25 really good ones. Lots of rap, lots of country, lots of soul. Not a ton of "rock", though -- maybe because most of the non-rock rocks just fine.
When constructing this flawlessly gorgeous and heart-wrenching compendium of soft rock, I was once again reminded that much of history's mellow gold is in fact a secret depository of mental imbalance (see playlist selections by Helen Reddy and Gilbert O'Sullivan and Lobo for instance) and downright sleaziness (the ones by Mac Davis and Cher and Gordon Lightfoot, for starters.) Or at least that was the case in the singles-bar-and-suburban-wifeswap-and-pagan-teenage-drug-commune '70s; the '80s tunes below are perhaps more inscrutable -- if no more deniable.

Something nostalgia for the '70s and '80s tends to forget is how nostalgic those decades were in turn for the '50s -- from Sha Na Na to American Graffiti to Happy Days, the era of greasers and poodle skirts was more inescapable throughout the era of quaaludes and smiley faces than youngsters today might guess. And one natural byproduct -- especially when Elvis died in 1977 -- was an often covert seeping of rockabilly sounds into hard rock, glam, new wave, country, even funk. The playlist below delves beyond the Cramps and Stray Cats to explore how, and where, the '70s and '80s lit late great balls of rockabilly fire.


bep.jpg"Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas has now been the most popular song in the country for nine weeks and counting with no end in sight, making it the weirdest and most outlandish song to work up that kind of batting streak since ... what? "Hey Ya!" (nine weeks, 2003-2004)? "Macarena" (14 weeks, 1996)?? "Bette Davis Eyes" (nine weeks, 1981)??? Mighty impressive, either way, and what cannot be denied is that it is also the most shamelessly ridiculous and unabashedly catchy confection to hit the radio this year (only competition: "Poker Face"), and it's inescapable for primarily that reason.

So you know what? If you're not among the millions (if not billions) of human beings who've already surrendered to the song, you might as well. Otherwise, you'll certainly regret it 99 years from now (2108!), when you hear it on the intergalactic oldies station wired into the computer chip in your brain and it reminds you how life felt in the summer of 2009 the way no other song possibly could. And if that's not enough of a reason to embrace "Boom Boom Pow," here are 10 more.


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We can argue 'til the heifers come home about whether this is a good or bad thing (correct answer: very very very good), but it can not be denied that the soon-to-over '00s have been the butt-rockingest decade in the entire history of country music since the beginning of time. In fact, it could easily be argued that country music rocked a whole lot harder in the '00s than rock did. Below are 25 magnificently loud and heavy reasons why. If you're a purist who gets nervous when country goes places it isn't supposed to, feel free to sit this one out. Otherwise, turn it up!

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With not nearly enough exceptions, loud guitar rock has been a notorious dancefloor wallflower for the past 30 years or so: Pretty much ever since disco scared its syncopations stiff. Kind of weird, for a genre originally steeped in the blues and r&b. But one of hard rock's secrets has long been Latin counterrhythms in its closet. The following playlist -- honoring conga-metal from both sides of several different borders -- is all the proof anyone should require.




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How appropriate is it that Eminem's new Relapse arrives midway between Mother's Day and Father's Day? Has the world of music ever seen a songwriter, in any genre, so obsessed with the day-to-day details of parenting -- both as a parent himself, and as somebody who was once parented? And Relapse -- featuring back-to-back numbers called "My Mom," about Marshall Mathers' mom, and "Insane," about Marshall Mathers' dad -- demonstrates that he's not yet ready to bury the theme in the back of his already-cluttered closet. In recognition of his preoccupation, then, here is a rundown of Eminem's more memorable koans on the topic -- many of which can serve as helpful advice for moms and dads everywhere!


starz.jpgMusic historians have yet to pinpoint the precise moment when "hair metal" got its name (before that, it was "pop metal," "glam metal," "shag metal," "Nerf metal," whatever.) But the genre was pretty clearly in place as a cultural phenomenon by, say, the mid '80s. For several years before, though, metal and album-oriented rock seemed to be moving in markedly pretty and poofy directions; they weren't just for dudes anymore. The playlist below doesn't go past 1984, but it clearly portends pink guitars on the way -- not to mention fallen angels in the backstage area. (Pictured: Starz)
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As if your finances weren't scary enough this year, April 15 is here. And no matter how bad things look, you can at least rest assured that millions of frightened folks are in the same sinking boat. Perhaps the songs below will help you through your final filing fears. Regardless: Under penalties of perjury, I declare that I have examined this playlist, and accompanying tracks about taxes, and to the best of my knowledge they are true, correct, and complete.

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What could be more appropriate for April Fool's Day than a playlist of extremely serious songs? Ha ha, fooled you! These are actually totally ridiculous ones instead! Including some of the most awesome funnybone-ticklers in the history of recorded sound, and others that are just plain... well, stupid! Because if there's ever been a time when a wee bit of knee-slapping could do you good, this is it.

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