Q & A: mewithoutYou

You guys getting ready for tour?
Yah.

When do you start? Monday?
Right.

I heard that you tour in an old 40-foot bus that runs on vegetable oil. Is this true?
Yeah. I think it came from a high school in Altus, Okla. I’m reading the back of it right now. It says Altus Bulldogs. It's got a mascot of a big ol’ bulldog, and it looks like it’s from a high school. But we got it in Arkansas a few years ago and converted it. We added a bigger fuel tank and made the necessary adjustments so it could run on veggie oil, too.

Can you tell me a little about how you guys first got together and started playing as mewithoutYou?
A few of us were playing in another band together. We’ve played in a lot of bands over the years. This was just another one, but it happened to get a break and sign to a record label, which helped us to start touring and go into the studio. You know, nothing too out of the ordinary.

That was Tooth & Nail that signed you, right?
Yah -- we did an EP before that, but all of our full-lengths have been on Tooth & Nail.

I’ve read that you are in the process of getting a master's degree from the University of Pennsylvania. How do you balance being in an uber-successful college band while getting degrees and doing epic things for yourselves outside of music?
Well, the music act has been [slowing] down, allowing for more time to pursue other things. For about seven or eight years we weren’t taking classes or working any other jobs. It’s only been recently that we’ve gone in those directions.

So UPenn? I know that is a really prestigious school.
Well, my mom works there so that’s what sealed the deal for me, but I was just taking a few classes this past year. I’m not in any program. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get a degree out of it, but it has been really nice to take classes, and my mom’s work pays for it almost completely. It’s a real blessing to be able to go to such a good school that is right near where I live. It’s just a short bike ride. I haven’t taken classes in almost a decade so it’s been nice to get back into it.

As of last Thursday, It’s All Crazy! It’s All False! It’s All a Dream! It’s Alright reached No. 72 in the Billboard top 200, selling over 8,000 copies in its first week of sales. In the large scope of things, how important are these sort of accomplishments to you?

They are important to us. But in the large scope -- you’re asking about the large scope -- they aren’t important at all. We could end up No. 1 on those charts someday and not feel any peace in our hearts and not be living a good life and not be living in a true way. But of course you can live in a true way and not be recognized for it and not be accepted for it and certainly not be famous or wealthy and not be in the top 200 of a particular chart. So those things don’t matter.

But you do get caught up in it. You do get excited, you know -- if we had been No. 1 or really high up there. Believe me, I’ve been excited, but there are a lot of other bands that have sold more than us. It’s really nothing to brag about. What about the other 71 groups? You put it into perspective. As important as we may seem to ourselves, you look at a lot of the other groups on those charts; you don’t who they are and you’ve never heard their names before but they all have their own lives and their own worlds so in the end we are just another name on that list, you know?

But as far as business is concerned, that’s pretty high up for a band in your genre. You guys are in a chart that features artists like Eminem and other super major acts with millions of dollars backing them.
Yeah, but it hasn’t brought any peace into my heart, or as far as I know any of the other guys. We realize that it is sort of a dead end to pursue that and measure our success by that. It’s exciting for a minute, but then it's back to the same difficulties that you struggle with. However, it is exciting to go on tour, and to be on stage and to have T-shirts and have someone want to interview you. That feels good in a certain way, but on the other hand we aren’t sure that’s what we are really searching for.

We just thank God for it and then we say, "Well, thank you God, but no thank you, God. This isn’t really it. As soon as you want it to be over, let it be over." The grace for me is being content with never doing another record, or if this is the last time anyone calls me wanting to ask any questions that would be just fine with me. Although believe me, I am honored that you called me, and I really do appreciate that you would take the time to talk with me, but I feel a little strange answering questions even though I don’t think I have much to say.

You seem to be content with where you are as a band and like you are ready to go beyond music and chase your own dreams with school and such.
Well, for my life going back to school wasn’t a dream or an aspiration. It was advice given to me by a dear friend. Someone who I respect. He was praying about it and said, "In my prayers, it seems to me that it would be good for you to go to school and to have something else other than music that you are spending your time with and another option for your career." This is the last thing I wanted. I absolutely had no interest in going back to school and investing my time and whatever money it costs into doing this. But he was persistent, this friend of mine. He is an older fellow and has a lot more wisdom and experience than me. I ran it by my parents, and they both said, "Yes, we would like you to go back to school." So I decided it wouldn’t be that bad.

It was really something that came out of prayer. In my life it was done in submission to God, not something I wanted to do. But then my mind got a hold of it, and I started thinking I could get a graduate degree and get a better job and people will respect me and think I’m smart and all kinds of these things that have no value. It is exactly like being No. 72 on a chart. It doesn’t bring me peace, and I know it won’t bring me peace to have a graduate degree or to have a job that pays a certain amount of money. The truth for me is continuing to lay before God in my heart and saying, "Well, God if this is something that you are doing, then may that be so and let me be so with whatever comes."

It’s not what’s happening in our lives, it’s just the spirit of contentment that exists in all of us that we all have access to. We need to figure out whether we are going to be grateful and give praise and thanks for the things that exist or if we are going to focus on things that aren’t the way we want them to be.

Would it be true to assume that religion and spirituality are a pretty big part of your life?
Well, God is my life. During my clearer moments, I realize that I don’t really have anything else except for God. I have a family and a band and friends and ideas and beliefs and religious groups and all these things, but all of those things are going to be gone very, very soon. Even my own body, it’s all passing away. Religion and all my ideas about God, those things don’t give me any life. They don’t have any importance, but God the actual power that created me and gives life to all the world -- that is the life within everyone -- there are no words that I can say about that.

I can’t talk about God; I can’t put it into words. I don’t mean to evade the question, but I do have a sense that there is nothing of any value other than God. Including the religions that people talk about and all my doctrines and beliefs that I’ve associated with; those don’t have any value but only God, who I don’t even begin to understand. It brings me to a wonderful place of being just like a child in some ways, not understanding anything but just sort of in awe of everything and being grateful for everything that comes and waiting for whatever goes and to let it go. But I wouldn’t call it religion.

That’s how my parents raised me. They told me to believe in God, not to believe in this world or even in myself, which is a strange request to make of a young man. However, it’s starting to seem like the truth. God is reality and everything we see is not.

So it’s something you learn more with every passing day?
Well, for my life it’s more like a roller coaster. It’s not a constant progression forward. Sometimes I will forget and spend entire days grumbling about what’s not going right. I forget very often, but there are other days where even just remembering God and praising Him and saying, "Oh God you’re the greatest, you’re the most beautiful one, you’re my only friend, you’re really my only family, you’re the one who is wise, you’re the one who is true, who is merciful, compassionate, loving -- you’re within everyone. You’re everywhere. You’re within those who believe in you and even those who don’t believe in you. You always were and you always will be."

It’s so wonderful remembering Him. It’s like a rock that is higher than all the floodwaters in the world. Anything that happens, no matter how bad it is, you just accept that and say, "That is this world. It comes and goes. But there is a love that doesn’t and it’s in me now." So I don’t really learn more everyday. It’s something that just comes. You just need to realize it.

Over the last few records you’ve released, mewithoutYou’s music has become dramatically less electric, and features less angst in its overall tone in exchange for a sound that is more folk-influenced and acoustic. Is this because you have matured as musicians, individuals, and as a band or because of the events that occurred in your lives while you were composing these songs?
Well, we like the new songs better. We generally like the direction it’s going. Why not make music that you like rather than music that you liked when you were 22? We’ve all changed. Also, we lost a member. Our old guitar player, Chris [Kleinberg], has been going back to school. He plans to be a doctor someday. So we wrote the last record without him.

We were down a guitarist, so I picked up an acoustic guitar and started playing that more. Just playing simple chords and rhythms, but maybe that one factor was enough to shift the overall core of the songs. A lot of them were just written around simple chord progressions rather than these complex electric-guitar riffs we used to write.

Do you write most of the lyrics yourself?
To answer you sincerely, God is truly the one who is conducting my life, so in some ways I just feel like I’m watching it unfold. But that’s something I don’t understand. On the surface level it would appear that way, yes, you know? It’s my hand [that writes the lyrics], and sometimes the guys make suggestions if a lyric comes out that they think can be better. In that case, I will zero in and try to improve it, and of course a lot of it is borrowed or stolen from whatever I’ve read or heard. So it’s not like original stuff, and it has been said before.

So you get some of it from scripture you read?
Well, some of the older songs are from scripture. But lately, I haven’t been reading much of the scripture. While some of the songs have words from scripture, it’s not much.

How did you guys come up with the record’s title, It’s All Crazy! It’s All False! It’s All a Dream! It’s Alright?
There was a holy man named Bawa Muhaiyaddeen that came to Philadelphia in the early 1970s, and he said that.

Can you tell me about your band’s friend Critter?
Yeah. Crittervision.com. How do you know about him?

I read about him online. Is he a friend of yours?
Well, my parents taught me that God is my only friend but I understand what you are asking. I’m sorry, again I’m not real good at doing interviews, but Critter is a very dear brother of ours. We’ve seen him now and again over the years on tour around North Carolina. Sometimes he comes to the shows with a whole bunch of food that he got from a nearby dumpster. Like, just expired food. That kind of thing. He is a very, very precious brother. A sweet brother. If you’re reading this, Critter, you better come when we come through North Carolina! We haven’t seen him in a while.

When is the last time you guys toured?
It’s been over a year now. So I guess it’s not Critter’s fault that we haven’t seen him.

So are you getting anxious or excited for tour? It’s been so long.
No. Not very excited or anxious right now. It’s still a few days away. There is a lot between now and then.

Since it has been so long, you are going to have to re-adjust your day-to-day life. You will be living on a bus and be in a different city every night. Is there a learning curve after not being on the road for over a year?
For me it’s a small adjustment. Whether I’m sleeping in my bed in Philly or a bed on the bus, it doesn’t make that big a difference. But for some of the other guys it’s a bigger deal. They have a hard time being away from home. Maybe they have closer relationships or something like that in Philadelphia. But for me, I don’t really look forward to it or mind it.

You guys live holistic lifestyles. You don’t normally eat at chain restaurants. How does this work on tour?
Well, for a long time I was really into dumpster diving like Critter. You would be amazed that you can find enough food that others have thrown away if you know where to look. But recently, that hasn’t been such a priority in my life. Yesterday, I ate at a big pizza chain restaurant. The point is I used to make a big deal of what I do and don’t do. You know. "I eat out of trash cans and I don’t have a cell phone and I don’t have an automobile because I ride a bicycle. I don’t wear new clothes because I go to the thrift store." It goes on and on; you can say, "This is what I do and this is what I don’t do, and that’s why I’m better than everybody and I’m living right and everyone else is living wrong."

It was just so crazy for me to obsess over myself in that way. It didn’t bring me peace, and I was tired of feeling so separated from everybody because of all these things I did and didn’t do. It’s much sweeter to say, "God, this all your responsibility, and we are all your children, and you are the one who’s good. Any goodness is from you." Nothing I ever do or don’t do will make me better than anyone else.

This interview is going to be published in a newspaper that is circulated around the nation’s “No. 1 Party School.” A lot of UF students spend their days in a mindless haze stumbling from a classroom, to a barstool, to passing out, and doing it all over again the next day. People care more about how many friends they have on Facebook than what is happening in the world around them. Can you comment on the indifference of today’s youth?
Well everyone has heard about Jesus and all the prophets, and everyone knows right from wrong. If folks want to ignore that and numb that and go through life trying to have a good time, I know what that’s like, man. I understand that there is a lot of suffering in this world. There is a lot of loneliness and confusion and fear, so if you want to get drunk, I can relate. But pay attention. Watch closely to what happens to your own heart when you do those things. Watch what happens when you take a girl to bed and then break up with her. Watch what happens when you pass all your time just trying to forget about reality. Watch what happens when you don’t forgive others. Watch what happens when you deny the existence of God and say, "There is no God and no need to pray, and if I don’t understand it, it doesn’t exist."
If you make these choices and have these beliefs, see what comes of it; if it doesn’t work or seems like a dead end, then you can still pray and you can still cry out to God for help and you can ask for mercy and ask for God to turn your life around. But you only want to do that if you hit a rock bottom. If there are other things to do and you want to do them, then do them. But pay attention. Learn from it and move forward. Don’t cling to it just because that’s what everyone around you is doing.

What does mewithoutYou have in store for the future?
We don’t really have any plans.

Well thanks for giving me your time.
It’s wonderful to meet you. Much peace to you and the rest of your classmates at school. May God bless you and protect you.