Since forming in 1979, the Beastie Boys have gone from hardcore punk upstarts to smart-ass rappers to de facto arbiters of cool to the veteran rocks stars they are today. Initially dismissed by critics when Licensed to Ill came out in 1986, emcees Mike D, MCA and Ad-Rock shut everybody up with Paul's Boutique in 1989. To put things in perspective, when Paul's Boutique appeared, people simply didn't make jokes about '70s TV shows or refer to underground films the way the Beastie Boys did. From Check Your Head's Cheap Trick-sampling opener to the video for "Sabotage," these guys pretty much invented the kind of pop nostalgia that's such a pervasive part of our culture these days, whether it's Pineapple Express or the way your little brother dresses like he's auditioning for Diff'rent Strokes. And as if inventing an entire paradigm weren't enough, the Beastie Boys also had their own record label, their own magazine, their own clothing line -- they even had their very own Nathanial Hornblower, and we still don't even know what that is.
To celebrate their long-awaited arrival onto the digital shelves of Rhapsody -- meaning you can go stream all of their records right now -- we put together the following quiz. See just how much you know about the Beasties' long, proudly annoying, prone-to-genius career.
1.) In the song "Shake Your Rump," Sam the Butcher brings Alice:
A. Bobby Brady's severed head
B. A new dress from T.J. Maxx
C. The meat
2.) The Beastie Boys' first album, Licensed to Ill, was produced by:
A. Rick Rubin
B. Jimmy Page
C. Rick Rubin ripping off all of Jimmy Page's riffs
3.) From the very start, the Beastie Boys have had the skills to pay the bills. This means:
A. They went to a trade high school and are now fully licensed contractors
B. Rhymin' and stealin' can be very lucrative
C. They are masters of Quicken, America's No. 1 personal finance software, and therefore have great credit
4.) In the song "The Biz vs. the Nuge," from Check Your Head, Biz Markie and Ted Nugent:
A. Debate Glasnost, the Fibonacci sequence, Manhattan haberdashers
B. Engage in a knife fight on top of a moving train
C. Perform a duet of the Ted Nugent song "Homecoming"
5.) Mike D's real name is:
A. Michael Diamond
B. Neil Diamond
C. Clarence
6.) The Beasties' first single was "Cooky Puss," which was based around a crank call they made to Carvel Ice Cream. Before this single they had been:
A. Severely lactose intolerant
B. More likely to order Fudgie the Whale or Dumpy the Pumpkin
C. A hardcore punk band
7.) Ad-Rock has referred to the rapcore and nu metal genres the Beastie Boys are often credited with launching as:
A. His most satisfying achievement
B. "Goatee metal rap"
C. We can't come up with anything funnier than "goatee metal rap"
8.) If one chooses not to fight for one's right to party, the next best thing would be to fight for the right:
A. Of Shaq to Twitter during basketball games
B. To put what little money you earn into the pockets of jillionaire megabank CEOs
C. To never forget the atrocities of 311
9.) Check Your Head was widely praised because:
A. The entire album featured MCA, Ad-Rock and Mike D playing live instruments
B. It consistently impressed naysayers with the Beasties' wide-ranging lyrical references to pop culture
C. They only used the "I got more [blank] than [blank]'s got [blank]" construction once, in "Finger Lickin' Good"
10.) The title of their fourth album, Ill Communication, is a reference to:
A. Hip-hop lingo meaning "a particularly good album marked by a devil-may-care attitude"
B. The fact that at the time of its release, the members of the band were in fact sick and in need of medical assistance
C. The practice of freestyle rapping despite having a bad case of the sniffles
Bonus Math Questions
11.) Mike D has four apples. He gives one to a cab driver. He now has:
A. More apples than Isaac Newton's got theorems
B. More apples than Jay-Z's got problems
C. Actually, he has just the right amount of apples: one for each of the members of his band. Isn't that nice?
12.) The song "Three MCs and One DJ," from Hello Nasty, refers to four people -- the Beastie Boys with permanent DJ Mix Master Mike. If all four of those people were sent as advisers to South Vietnam in 1964, how many of them would return?
A. All of them, because they were just advisers
B. None of them because war is hell
C. Their physical bodies may have returned, but they would have left their innocence back there in the jungle
A. Bobby Brady's severed head
B. A new dress from T.J. Maxx
C. The meat
2.) The Beastie Boys' first album, Licensed to Ill, was produced by:
A. Rick Rubin
B. Jimmy Page
C. Rick Rubin ripping off all of Jimmy Page's riffs
3.) From the very start, the Beastie Boys have had the skills to pay the bills. This means:
A. They went to a trade high school and are now fully licensed contractors
B. Rhymin' and stealin' can be very lucrative
C. They are masters of Quicken, America's No. 1 personal finance software, and therefore have great credit
4.) In the song "The Biz vs. the Nuge," from Check Your Head, Biz Markie and Ted Nugent:
A. Debate Glasnost, the Fibonacci sequence, Manhattan haberdashers
B. Engage in a knife fight on top of a moving train
C. Perform a duet of the Ted Nugent song "Homecoming"
5.) Mike D's real name is:
A. Michael Diamond
B. Neil Diamond
C. Clarence
6.) The Beasties' first single was "Cooky Puss," which was based around a crank call they made to Carvel Ice Cream. Before this single they had been:
A. Severely lactose intolerant
B. More likely to order Fudgie the Whale or Dumpy the Pumpkin
C. A hardcore punk band
7.) Ad-Rock has referred to the rapcore and nu metal genres the Beastie Boys are often credited with launching as:
A. His most satisfying achievement
B. "Goatee metal rap"
C. We can't come up with anything funnier than "goatee metal rap"
8.) If one chooses not to fight for one's right to party, the next best thing would be to fight for the right:
A. Of Shaq to Twitter during basketball games
B. To put what little money you earn into the pockets of jillionaire megabank CEOs
C. To never forget the atrocities of 311
9.) Check Your Head was widely praised because:
A. The entire album featured MCA, Ad-Rock and Mike D playing live instruments
B. It consistently impressed naysayers with the Beasties' wide-ranging lyrical references to pop culture
C. They only used the "I got more [blank] than [blank]'s got [blank]" construction once, in "Finger Lickin' Good"
10.) The title of their fourth album, Ill Communication, is a reference to:
A. Hip-hop lingo meaning "a particularly good album marked by a devil-may-care attitude"
B. The fact that at the time of its release, the members of the band were in fact sick and in need of medical assistance
C. The practice of freestyle rapping despite having a bad case of the sniffles
Bonus Math Questions
11.) Mike D has four apples. He gives one to a cab driver. He now has:
A. More apples than Isaac Newton's got theorems
B. More apples than Jay-Z's got problems
C. Actually, he has just the right amount of apples: one for each of the members of his band. Isn't that nice?
12.) The song "Three MCs and One DJ," from Hello Nasty, refers to four people -- the Beastie Boys with permanent DJ Mix Master Mike. If all four of those people were sent as advisers to South Vietnam in 1964, how many of them would return?
A. All of them, because they were just advisers
B. None of them because war is hell
C. Their physical bodies may have returned, but they would have left their innocence back there in the jungle
- Portions of Album Content Provided by All Music Guide © 2008 All Media Guide, LLC.
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