Chris Ryan: I am ... underwhelmed. Usually doubles are so conceptually robust that they demand the extra acreage; or they come at a time in an artist's career where the fever pitch of creativity demands a big canvas. This joint is about as long as Thriller and despite all the talking-points memos going around about B's beguiling "split personality," the two poles of Beyoncé seem to be "slow jams" and "club bangers."
Angela Bruno: I am ... going to ignore 85 percent of this album. Or, I'm gonna wind up saying something I'll regret. Like, oh, her artistic bipolarity only reminds me of that commercial for a product-which-shall-remain-nameless where a woman sees her totally-slummed-out-on-the-inside reflection in the mirror due to a lack of "freshness." Which, actually, is quite applicable here. (Forgive me Sasha, for I know not what I say!) I feel like I'm betraying a good friend, like LC and Audrina or vice versa (depending on whose side you're on). What happened to that brickhouse-ness that only B'Day can invoke?!?! Sigh. I may have to disagree with you on the acreage, though. B covers a whole lotta ground: Buzz Lightyear ("Single Ladies": "Here's a man that makes me then takes me/and delivers me to a destiny/ to infinity and beyond"), Dave Matthews ("Smash Into You," ummm "Crash Into Me"), Renée Zelweger (in Jerry McGuire, "Hello"), Pavarotti ("Ave Maria," WTF?), career criminal ("Diva": "this is a stick up, stick up"), you know. Shall we dissect (further)?
"Halo" (I Am ...)
CR: Of all the I can't-believe-it's-not-"Take a Bow"/"Bleeding Love" jams on this side, I think "Halo" is my favorite. Ryan Tedder, blonde homie out of OneRepublic who wrote "Apologize," wrote this one.
AB: Don't make me sing the chorus to Tamia's "Stranger in My House." Between this and "Ave Maria," it's like she and Michelle Williams had a Freaky Friday moment. I look to Beyoncé for the escape, for the Cartier neckties, Hermes briefcase. Not for some purpose-driven-life mumbo jumbo. Empty calories, por favor. But I gotta say, if she does what she did last time -- release a video for every song -- I'm gonna no doubt turn to mush and love it. As far as the ballads go, "Disappear" is more my speed.
"Radio" (Sasha Fierce)
CR: This sounds like the same untz-untz Euro trance stuff I'd hear in trashy untz-untz Euro trance clubs in Ireland in 1999; wherein I'd try and push up on Irish girls who had the same never-ending battle with their pancake makeup that B seems to be having with the pronunciation of "everyday" ... which is the long way of saying I find this really endearing.
AB: 1) I'm totally telling your girlfriend. 2) Another alter ego! As far as the "errrryday" and "qurrrrrr" ("car"), she totally sounds like Kim (Countess Vaughn) from the acclaimed sitcom Moesha. 3) Musiq'snewsongizsomuchbetta. 4) Crap, this is growing on me.
"Video Phone" (Sasha Fierce)
AB: Silk-lined blazers! Diamond-creamed facials! My girl is back! As R. Kelly (on "Ringtone"). But I'll take it. This takes me back to halcyon times. Slithery and slinky and bursting with product-placement potential! Aside from "Single Ladies" and the spot-on simplicity of "If I Were a Boy," this is my most favorite jam on the album. On loop. Best line ever: "You breakin' up my focus, boy you cute and you ballin'."
CR: I hear you, Mrs. Brightside. Far be it from me to disparage product placement in a song. Chris Brown's "Forever" is a karaoke-jam for all-time. I was kind of thrown for a loop when I was under the impression that this was actually a song about the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. That Beyonce was taking on the voice of all the unwitting victims of spying from private eyes (they're watching you!). But it works a lot better your way.
- Portions of Album Content Provided by All Music Guide © 2008 All Media Guide, LLC.
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