Legendary and Glamorous Southern Soulsters Live Up to Their Adjectives

Even in the grits-and-gravy world of chitlin circuit Southern soul, the Legendary Moody Scott may not genuinely qualify as a bona fide legend. And likewise, I don’t doubt that there are more glamorous singers out there somewhere than the Glamorous Bertha Payne. But that they bill themselves thus only makes their homemade records more endearing.

Moody Scott hails from Louisiana, and on the cover of Simply Moody: We Gotta Bust Outta the Ghetto, he’s a dapper old fellow standing in front of a rundown rural shack -- interesting, since "ghettos" are usually assumed to be urban, right? He opens with a James Brown rip where he reels off names of Southern towns train-conductor-style and asks God to grant his grace on America. Next, he expertly revives Tyrone Davis' immortal "Can I Change My Mind," and from there his more soul-oriented stuff (e.g., cheated-on song "One Man's Happiness," which captures some of the mood of Billy Stewart sitting in the park even though Moody’s voice isn’t so high) is more likeable, to me, than the more blatantly blues stuff, even if both seem somewhat generic. "Annie Mae Café" (which despite its title has nothing to do with Japanese cartoons) and the soon-to-be-timely “Last Two Dollars” are both worthy George Jackson compositions, and the closer "Son of a Southern Man" starts with Moody telling guitarist Marcello "Tattoo" Suarez ("my man from Argentina") about his grandpa drinking corn liquor and singing "downhome blues." A true country gentleman, Moody is, though he does get urbanely urban once – in “The Best of Me,” a nice early '80s-style silk-shirt quiet-storm soul croon.

Bertha Payne’s Bedroom Offer EP, meanwhile, is Southern country-soul Millie Jackson-style (i.e., as many bawdy parts talked as sung), from Memphis, and starts with a good-riddance song where Glamorous Bertha (who on the CD cover is a big girl wearing a red dress and holding a red glass of wine) tells you "I don't need your face in my face" so "go away like a bad day" and "you might as well pack your rags." Then the title track, which is not about Bertha’s bedroom offer to a man but the other way around, which offer she insists isn't sufficient as her two backup singers (favorite artists: Denise Lasalle, Mary J. Blige) chorus "bang! bang!" By song's end, Bertha makes her demands very clear: "I need a man who will love me all night long. Are you qualified? If not, get off the pot!"

Then there’s one where she promises to shake it and break it (and maybe hang it on the wall) and tells "all you womens with big elephant ears" that with her man every day is pay day. Then a “Sweet Talk” version of the same song, which means the same slinky rhythm track but now with breathy pillow talk over the top where Bertha instructs you to lift up her skirt. Then finally more good-riddance, this time a tough and funky blues, where some shmo leaves Bertha with a sink full of dishes, hence possibly the best dishwashing song since Ray Parker Jr.'s "Bad Boy" if not Anita Ward's "Ring My Bell"; she also brings him food in bed, which therefore might additionally make this a breakfast breakup song in the tradition of the 5th Dimension's "One Less Bell to Answer" and Karyn White's "Superwoman." Only five songs total, but two around 4:00, and three around 4:25 -- which means Glamorous Bertha takes her time and would surely appreciate a lover with a slow hand.