2008 VMA Diaries: Tag (Yes, the Body Spray) Official Kickoff Party

by Angela Bruno

Objective: Find tangible evidence that humans do, indeed, swing from chandeliers. Status: Negative. However, I did find that scenes from The Hills do, indeed, occur in nature. (See, the show is real!) L.A. culture shock set in around dinner time last night at Katana, a super swank pan-Asian situation. Or maybe it was before that, when I checked into my hotel room on the Sunset Strip and had to sign a waiver -- there's a $500 penalty for trashing the room. Aka, god knows what hath hit the fan here before, god knows what will hit the fan here again. Celebrity/model sightings at Katana were numerous, counting an ANTM finalist (they're everywhere) and Melissa Ford, aka Jessica Rabbit, who I saw again later at the Jermaine Dupri-hosted Boost Mobile -- I mean -- Tag Body Spray official VMA kickoff party at Avalon, where I ended up working/rubbernecking on the red carpet. A curious experience to say the least. Waited for Weezy. Didn't happen.

Despite JD's best efforts, the party itself was kinda weak sauce. But maybe I'm jaded. The event was also an intro to Tag Records' first artist, Q, who reminded me of a cross between Jeezy and Stephan Urquelle -- Steve Urkel's cool clone that almost wins Laura Winslow's heart. Operative word here being "almost." (Random, I know.) He performed a few songs, as did Fabolous. Polow da Don, Jazze Pha, Taye Diggs were corralled in the VIP. But not Paul Wall and Raekwon-- they walk amongst the people. JD's GF Janet Jackson was in the building -- and so was Perez Hilton, who walked out two seconds after walking in. Cheers and jeers to follow.

Cheers: Rev Run's girls, Vanessa and Angela, working it out for the camera. With so much T&A in attendance, it was nice to see somebody who was fully clothed.

Jeers: Johnta Austin smoking a cigar and mean-muggin' like he's a boss. Last I checked, R&B singers are not hard.

Cheers: Gator vests are the new black. Just ask Jazze Pha.

Jeers: The dance floor was, relatively, empty. JD prodded, "At JD parties, motherf*ckas don't stand around taking pictures." That's right, they don't -- 'cause you had to check your camera at the door. He urged the crowd to do the DJ justice -- to no avail. Oh, I get it. This is one of those stand-around-and-look-good kinda things.

Cheers: Glow-in-the-dark souvenir cups! Sweet. Passed hor' dourves. Props.

Cheers/Jeers: I love Fab. You love Fab. I love that Fab rocked a mint-green hoodie vest. I hate that Fab was on autopilot during his performance, exerting absolutely no energy -- NONE -- during his two-song cameo of "Breathe" and "Make Me Better." [Grimace.]

Cheers: Some dude on crutches dancing to "Wipe Me Down." Now that's the spirit!

Cheers:  Obama is the new air horn. Undoubtedly the most political VMAs ever. "I can't believe we got a black man running for president -- put ya hands up!" JD boomed from the DJ booth. And the crowd did, indeed, go wild.