The V In VMA

Here’s what happened, at least in the live feed those of us who weren’t quite special enough to get tickets to the Pearl Theater but who knew someone who knew someone who could get us into the Rain nightclub where Linkin Park played saw. Seth Rogen was doing a running bit about the Best New Artist award, which basically highlighted all the embarrassing one-hit-wonders who’ve been nominated for this award in the past. So he introduces Kid Rock as a past loser of the award, and asks Mr. Rock how failing to win the award has affected his life. And Kid Rock’s five word answer was this:

“I eat p*ssy for breakfast.”

It’s a pretty profound response, if you think about it (really: take a minute or two and think through everything he might have meant – if you stop at, “I’m a boorish dumbass,” you’re right, but you’re also not thinking hard enough). Those five words (along with Sarah Silverman’s stretched-mouth impersonation of Britney’s nether regions) took the sex that’s implicit in most pop music and said, “Let’s stop pretending we’re talking about something else.” 

Apparently Kid Rock and Tommy Lee got in a fight over Pamela Anderson later on in the evening, so that fight and Chris Brown and how medicated Britney looked will probably be the things we all talk about when we talk about the VMAs for the next few days. But before that happens, I wanted to put in a plug for Kid Rock’s potty mouth, since sometimes the things your demented grandma says during Christmas dinner that everyone immediately pretends they didn’t hear turn out to be worth pondering for a bit.